


Paying For My Mistake

by abigail312



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bottom Katsuki Yuuri, Character Death, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Top Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-05-30 16:02:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15100217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abigail312/pseuds/abigail312
Summary: No one was paying for Victor's mistake. Not even Yuuri himself. Victor was paying for his mistake, every day, every hour, every second of his now purposeless life.





	1. Chapter 1

No amount of guilt Victor felt could turn back the hands of time, because if it could he'd still be with his beloved Yuuri.

• • • •

Victor remembered how beautiful Yuuri would look in the morning. 

After a night of passion Victor just wanted to spend his morning staring at Yuuri's sleeping form. How beautiful the morning light made him look. The sheets low on his hips and his raven hair a beautiful mess. Love bites scattered all over his sun-kissed skin. Victor wondered how someone asleep could look so gorgeous.  

Just when Victor thought he couldn't be any happier to be in a relationship with Yuuri, he was proving him wrong, in his sleep at that. Victor couldn't help but laugh

Yuuri looked so angelic, so inviting, Victor couldn't resist the urge to run his hands through Yuuri's gorgeous locks, his loving gaze never faltering. 

Victor's gentle caresses woke Yuuri up with the feeling of pure bliss. Yuuri smiled when he saw his silver-haired lover staring down at him. 

"Why are you staring?" Yuuri would ask, his accent thick and so lovely when he woke up, just how Victor liked it. 

"How could I not when I get to wake up next to the most beautiful person in the world." Victor replied with a genuine smile on that handsome face of his. 

Yuuri would laugh, blush then call him cheesy but cheesy Victor would continue to be if it meant he could get such a cute reaction from Yuuri. 

For a few more minutes they basked in each other's presence. Yuuri loved Victor's hands in his hair, it was one of his favorite things but of course he'd never admit that to Victor. Although luckily it didn't seem to be a habit Victor would be breaking any time soon. 

Victor loved Yuuri and Yuuri loved Victor, the love they felt for eachother was endless and they both didn't have difficulty expressing that love for one another. 

"I love you," Victor would whisper in Yuuri's ear "So, so much." Yuuri's cheeks would heat up to the words but he didn't hesitate to reply. 

"I love you too Victor, with all my heart," hearing those words from Yuuri never failed to make Victor's heart swell everytime. Gosh Yuuri was so cute. 

With a reply so heart warming like that Victor would pounce on Yuuri and kiss his face all over, making an occasional "muah" sound. Yuuri would giggled from all the affection and wrap his arms around Victor's neck, bringing him closer.

When Victor rose to look down at Yuuri he could see how red his face was from the amusement and he could hear the tiny giggles escape his lovers lip. He really wanted to kiss his lips in that moment. 

Perhaps they could read each other's mind but they'd both know a proper kiss was due. Yuuri, still with his hand on Victor's nape, would pull him in gently and Victor, with his hand on Yuuri's soft cheek leaned in. 

They'd kiss eachother tenderly. They'd pour the love that they had for eachother into the kiss as if it would be their last. It was moments like these that made Victor the happiest and it was moments like this Yuuri would cherish to most. 

Victor's gentle kisses set something  ablaze inside Yuuri and Yuuri's hands in Victor's hair as he kissed him deeper made Victor want Yuuri more every passing second. 

They'd both know what was coming next as they indulged in the feeling of their bodies pressed together. They'd both now what the other one desired. 

Even so, Victor would still ask Yuuri if this was ok. He'd made sure Yuuri was comfortable with whatever they were about to do, whether it was inside the bedroom or out. Yuuri's heart swelled at Victor's concern. He knew that man would be the death of him.

Yuuri would never get tired of making love with Victor. He'd never push him away, he didn't the first time they made love and he didn't plan to in that moment.

Yuuri would scoffed then tell him "I'd never not want you Victor," he'd make it clear everytime and with the reassurance Victor would stroke him gently on the cheek, kiss him and smile. 

Victor would fix a pillow behind Yuuri's head and the lower part of his back, something he always did before he gave himself to Yuuri. Maybe Victor didn't think much of it but it was one of the many things on Yuuri's list of why he loved Victor. Although it definitely didn't compare to the number one reason.

The reason being that Victor saved him. Saved him from himself. Saved him from the depressing thoughts of thinking he wasn't good enough.  Not good enough for anyone to care about him, to love him.

Victor came into his life and showed him that there was no need for self hate. He showed him that there was so much to live for, so much to see and so many reasons for him to love a broken person like Yuuri. Victor made his heart whole again, although the other half was Victor's heart. He didn't mind in the slightest that they now they beat as one. 

Lord knew Yuuri would trade the world for Victor and Victor wouldn't hesitate to do the same. 

And as they made love they were both certain that their love could move mountains, they knew their love was written in the starts and they knew that their love would never end.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of present day and past

The silence of Victors surrounding was defening. The only thing keeping him sane was the pleasant memories that flooded his mind as he lay on his side of the bed. His arm was outstretched to Yuuris side of the bed, feeling how cold the surface was because yuuri was no longer there to provide him and the bed with warmth.

Even though Yuuri was gone Victor never dared sleep on the side that once belonged to Yuuri. Yuuri had once playfully told Victor that the left side belonged to him because Victor had jumped "right" into his life. He remembered telling him that his cheesiness level went up to level 10 with that statement.

___________

The challenge of choosing a side of the bed surprisingly proved to be quite a difficult one for the couple. 

"Yuuri I want the left side," Victor deadpanned, turning to Yuuri and intimidating him with the obvious height difference but the tiny smile on his face told Yuuri that in the end he'd probably get his way. Victor spoiled him like that 

"Well.. " Yuuri began "logically speaking I should get the left side of the bed."

"And why is that?" Victor questioned 

Victor waited for a reply but none came. Before he knew it he was being lightly shoved unto the freshly made bed, his back hitting the surface gently. He raised himself up onto his elbows and gave Yuuri a questionable look. 

Yuuri giggled and Victor's heart swelled at the sight. He had no idea what was going on but he smiled up at his fiance nonetheless. Victor's arms were outstretched, inviting Yuuri in for Victor to embrace him. 

Yuuri quickly jumped into Victor's lap. He straddled his thighs as he let his arms loosely rap around Victor's neck.

Neither had any idea of how or why an argument over who would sleep on which side of the bed led to this but neither of them were complaining

Yuuri leaned down, his icy breath ghosting over Victor's face and just when Victor though he was gonna get a tender kiss from his lover he felt a light sting on both his cheeks. Yuuri slapped him. 

Yuuri had both palms on Victor's rosy cheeks, squishing them together. He was smirking but Victor could see he was trying to hold back his laughter. 

"You look good like that, Yuuri said amusingly "the left side belongs to me because you were the one that jumped  **right** into my life and right into my heart. 

"haha get it because I said you jumped right and I really want the le-"

Victor quickly raised himself off the bed and cut Yuuri off with rushed but sweet kiss. That was so cheesy Victor slightly cringed but god did he love that about Yuuri. Always being goofy and making cheesy remarked in the most romantic or serious situations and this was no different. 

Yuuri sighed and melted into the kiss, pressing himself closer into victors lap and torso. Yuuri loved the way Victor threaded his fingers through his hair and the way he gently caressed his hips as they kissed eachother tenderly. 

Time passed as they kissed and caressed one another. Yuuri was now on his back and Victor was gently kissing him all over. He left butterfly kisses on Yuuris cheek and collar bone. He whispered sweet nothings into his ear. Victor told him how much he meant to him, how much he changed his life. 

The words left Victor's mouth as if they were rehearsed. It slid right of his tongue and into Yuuri's heart making him a bit emotional. Victor told him he loved him before but right now he was pouring out his heart to him. 

Yuuri felt so overwhelmed, hearing such words from Victor caused tears to spill from his eyes. He gripped Victor's upper arm and pulled him in but a quiet sob escaped his lips. 

Victor took notice and quickly pulled himself away. "Yuuri what's wrong? I'm sorry did I go too far? Please forgive me!" Victor practically shouted. Yuuri was amused by his unnecessary plead.

"No you idiot," Yuuri replied "I just love you so much. 

Victor sighed in relief "Oh that's good, I thought I upset you, I was about to start crying my self"

Yuuri laughed and pulled Victor in "You could never upset me with something like this, I'm all yours remember that. There's no one in this world I'd rather be with"

And now it was Victor's turn to cry 

Warmth filled Yuuri's chest and he couldn't help but giggle a little. "Did I ruin the mood?" Yuuri asked. 

"No" Victor replied in a whisper "The mood is just right" 

The two idiots made out with puffy cheeks and bloodshot eyes. They melted into each other's arms all over again but Yuuri could tell Victor was hesitant to touch him, the way his hands ghosted over his chest and lower back had Yuuri perplexed. 

Yuuri had no experience but if Victor wanted to touch him in that way he wouldn't dream of turning him down.

"Victor I-I don't mind you touching me, I love you a lot so if you want..." He trailed off. 

"You don't have to....please me in that way Yuuri. We can just cuddle." Victor stated but in reality Victor would gladly embrace Yuuri all night long. 

Yuuri was a bit disappointed with Victor's reply but he wanted him to listen to his reason. 

Yuuri pleaded, "listen Victor, we've been together for quite sometime. You know I love you like a lot and I trust you can take care of me. .. So please trust me when I say I want you, all of you. This is the only thing left, so please." 

Victor was having mixed feelings about this, but he's wanted Yuuri for along time now. If Yuuri said it was ok, then Victor would trust Yuuri's judgement. 

"Ok Yuuri, I'll take care of you for tonight."

 

Soon after their garments were removed. 

Victor's hand skimmed over Yuuri's skin. He stroked Yuuri's tender lips, down to his collar bone, over his shoulder and eventually to the hand Yuuri wore his ring. He clasped their hands together. Their rings now glistened in the light provided by the full moon over their heads. 

The glow of the moon and the gold of their rings were beautiful but both could not compare to the magnificence that was katsuki Yuuri. How soft his skin felt under Victor's touch. His lips and cheeks a beautiful crimson. The quick rise and fall of his chest. All these things and more making Victor question the universe. How could something so perfect fall into his arms?

"You're so pretty.... so perfect," Victor though out loud

"Well you're not too bad yourself" Yuuri replied. He chuckled and an adorable smile painted his face. 

 "Yuuri can I-"

"Yes" Yuuri interrupted, "I'm all yours"

 

Victor tried to be as gentle as he could. Yuuri's grip on his shoulder and their joined hands were firm. Yuuri tried to distract himself from the discomfort by looking at their rings. He knew there was better to come, tonight and in the future. The two charms held all the secrets of their future adventures and Yuuri was definitely ready to take them on with his love. 

The feeling of Victor inside Yuuri overwhelmed him. Yuuri had never felt this way before, it was alot to take in both literally and figuratively speaking. Yuuri didn't want to show his discomfort but soon his brows furrowed and his grip on Victor caused a slight sting. 

"Yuuri, hey it's ok just breath" Victor assured, stroking Yuuri's upper arm a. "Do you want to stop?" 

"No.... Just go slow" Yuuri encouraged Victor.

Victor obeyed. His free hand rubbed circles over Yuuri"s hip bone as he slowly pushed himself in and out. The discomfort Yuuri felt at first was fading away with ever second, replaced with nothing but the pleasure Victor gave to him. 

Yuuri let go of Victor's hand, much to Victor's displeasure to hold him close. His nails racked over Victors back, blinded by the intense pleasure to realize he slightly nicked Victor. 

"Victor.... Ah! It feels good, it feels so good"

"Yuuri-"

"I love you!" Yuuri practically sobbed into his shoulder "Ah.... I love you so much. 

"Yuuri I love you too, with all my heart"

Victor rocked his hips faster into Yuuri's, stretching and reaching deeper than Yuuri thought possible.

His mind became clouded with the overwhelming feeling of Victor making love to him. All he knew in that moment was Victor, reaching so deep inside of him and making him feel so good. Victor's lips on his felt so different in that moment, he didn't know what to make of it. 

With his climax steadily approaching Yuuri wanted Victor to look at him. He wanted to be the only thing in Victor's world at that moment. But of course to Victor Yuuri was already his whole world. 

Yuuri's climax hit him suddenly, he shuddered and cried out in Victor's arms. Victor soon followed and calapsed beside Yuuri.

The after shock of Yuuri's first orgasm had him shuddering and breathing heavily. Victor gently stroked Yuuri's back and told him how great he was. 

They faced eachother basking in the after glow and after what felt like minutes Yuuri broke the silence with heartwarming giggles

Victor smiled and asked him what was so funny

"Nothing, you just look really handsome right now" Yuuri hoped Victor would accept the answer and Victor being Victor he quickly did. In reality Yuuri remembered why they ended up in bed together. 

The truth was Yuuri didn't care what side of the bed he got, he only insisted on the taking the left side because Victor called it first and how could he have not taken the opportunity to mess with his husband like that. 

Of course Victor would never know that.

Victor smiled along with Yuuri's amused expression. He leaned over, kissed his cute nose then embraced him for a few more minutes. After a while Victor pulled away to get them both cleaned up. Surprisingly but not really Yuuri was fast asleep. Victor's heart swelled at the sight of his sleeping lover. 

He took it upon himself to clean Yuuri. The poor boy slept through it all, he must have been really tired. 

When Victor climbed in alongside Yuuri he kissed his head and rapped his arms around his middle. 

"I guess it's fine if you keep the left side, just for tonight though," Victor whispered. But who was Victor kidding, Yuuri could have the entire bed if he wanted to. Victor would do anything for Yuuri.

It can be said that Victor never slept on the left side of a bed after that day. 


End file.
